| Pappy |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|06:17 pm] |
My grandfather died this morning. After years of discomfort, and a week of immense pain, his heart finally gave out. He died in his sleep with my grandmother lying next to him in the hospital.
The only person from the family who doesn't know is my mum, who is at this minute in a plane and about to land in Atlanta within the next hour. |
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| Going Spare for Family |
[Jul. 3rd, 2007|09:51 pm] |
After years of having it so good with my grandad and great-grandma always perilously close to the edge of life and the after, it seems to be collapsing.
My grandfather has always had a weak heart and had his 4th open heart surgery in May 1985 (2 months before I was born). Unbeknownst to all, one of the blood transfusions he required, contained dodgy blood, and 3 years ago the 1st signs of Hepatitis C started to show. As a result, his liver started to fail and, subsequently, his kidneys from the necessary treatment and he started dialysis. He has been basically immobile since.
Last week, he was home alone for only 30 minutes when my grandmother came home to find him lying in a pool of blood in the kitchen. Due to the blood thinners, he lost a large amount of blood and they found significant internal bleeding in his head. Also, due to the blood thinners, they couldn't give him any painkillers until Saturday. As a result of being in so much pain, he is still refusing to eat, at most 1 mouthful a day.
It is a miracle that he has lasted this long with these ailments, and this fall has only shown us this even more. He looks like he has been in the ring with Mike Tyson and we fear he will never come close again to what he was before.
My grandmother is now going spare because she cannot be in two places at once.
Today, my 95 year old great grandma, who has been convinced she is dying for the last 50 odd years, was told she has diabetes. She is petrified of death. At my parents wedding 26 years ago, she told my dad she would be at his daughters wedding, which prompted to stare wide eyed and ask "do you know something I don't?" She phoned my mother in a state and is now telling all relatives she is at the final hurdle. We are all in two minds about this -she has suffered a HUGE amount in her life, including capture by the Russian army, being taken to Siberia and subjected to an almost lethal amount of radiation. She has been telling my mum and uncle for the last 3 hours that we must all pray to Allah (I should point out she is a Muslim, if it's not already obvious) so that she does not die. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2007|06:25 pm] |
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I want to do a body language course. I need to understand how to interpret Ruperts actions towards me, because it's driving me insane. Usually, I choose to ignore but still notice the signs that guys are somewhat repelled by me. But I'm seeing changes, and I don't know wht to do!!! It scares me...I need some advice or something... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|06:29 pm] |
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Duncan and I were writing out an order and he took the pen I was holding coz his wasn't working. He has seen me chewing on this pen everytime he sees me, so I'm expecting him to give it back. But he doesn't. Instead, he puts it behind his ear... I smile at him and, obviously, he asks me what's up. "I've had that in my mouth!" He shrugs his shoulders. I go back and tell Claire (other girl on reception) and she cracks up. When Duncan next comes over, she says to him "you realise you have Stephs spit on you?" "This was my pen yesterday and I won't tell you what I was doing with it." The only thing is, it never was his pen... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|12:16 am] |
And I have started flirting properly with Rupert. After 18 months, I can handle it by text, and he's responding, just not flirting. But we've been giving each other grief for cancelling on each other no less than 10 times in the last 5 weeks. First I was sick, then he was sick, then he was stuck between two trucks on the motorway back from Cardiff...actually that one was good -he has a good 2 hours to kill before the AA can get there to tow the broken down truck in front of him, so what does he do? Call me. Before anyone else. This would've been seen as a good sign, except for the fact that he is seriously not attracted to me, even if we talked for ages about STUFF...our Christmases, New Years, the rugby, work...I'll just have to comfort myself with the fact that it was HIM who came up to ME at the Christmas party, ME who he talks to about things like rugby, which he loves -he's never talked to any of the other girls there about things like that (because one of them told me). This is supposed to fill me with confidence, but it really doesn't. He lives a 5 minute walk away and yet I haven't seen him in 2 months tomorrow. There is the fact that for the first 9-10 months I knew him he was quite distant, but then all of a sudden changed.
I hate guys. They think we're complicated, but they're just as bad!! I don't know what to do about Rupert (I feel like the only way to get a response from him is to go up and kiss him) and Duncan (at work) is adding more complications. I'll just remind myself that the only purpose guys have is to aid us in reproducing. That is it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|12:10 am] |
It happened again. It's nice to know that I am definitely not completely asexual, even if I am close. Happened again, definitely not the first -or 100th- time and definitely not the last.
But this one is different by far. After 5 weeks, I have still not opened up any sign that I actually have feelings and he's now asking my colleague if I've told her anything. Excellent -I have clearly mastered the art of shutting up.
4 days to go, we shall see very shortly what happens.
He's 6"6 so turns out there may have been a little untruth when I said I don't want a guy anything like my Dad. |
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| Rose |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|06:25 pm] |
| You Are an Orange Rose | 
You represent desire and enthusiasm
Your vibe: Sexy yet familiar
Falling in love with you: happens instantly - it's a fast ride |
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| A rant I NEED you to listen to please |
[Feb. 16th, 2007|02:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
Right, I've had enough. I have come to the final conclusion that social situations and myself DO NOT go together. I have also decided that, as we all have a book inside of us, I have mine. It's a little autobiographical, but it's about a girl who starts to go insane as she becomes paranoid that she does not belong anywhere and that people try to avoid her and just plain do not like her. I've had this story in me for a long while now and the next step is to expand it. I have gotten to the point where I start crying at the thought that the only times I have something written in my calender apart from work is when I have to go to another city/country/continent, and doing that makes me excited.
It depresses me that people will talk to me regarding work if they HAVE to, but other than that, I am invisible. And I DO make a goddamn huge effort -well, for someone who is a sociophobe.
I want a Harry Potter style invisibility cloak or polyjuice potion. Something which will guarantee me unbiased, clear cut information on where I have fucked up as a person. I would be fine asking people what the problem is, and I have, but knowing the reply would be flimsy and they would think I'm nuts and paranoid (both of which are at least little true) doesn't fill me with enough confidence to do so. If I knew I the answers would be worth it, I would have asked everyone I have ever known by now.
So, PLEASE, offer some insight for me so that I can start acting the right way. I'm doing something massively wrong and I desperately want/need to know what it is. Plus, it could be used as research for my book, which, if published, would get certain acknowledgments -if you actually wanted to be associated with it of course...
Thanks |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|01:39 am] |
Predictably, my Palm thingy went dead and lost all addresses etc. If you trust me, please provide me with something. I only have lots of mobile numbers (and a couple of addresses).
Ta
x |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2006|01:07 am] |
I must say, today was fabulous. Many wonderful things happened today!! (this was written in no particular order)
1. Alex and I have forgiven each other
2. I've lost some weight
3. My hair looks fab
4. I love Mike
5. Mike did sweet things today
6. The ball is tomorrow night
7. The weekend is almost here
8. I've got the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on
9. Never Mind the Buzzcocks has just finished
10. My family have buggered off
11. I have money for once
12. I showed everyone how intelligent I am at the quiz
13. Gorgeous sunrise in front of me the whole walk to work this morning
14. Everyone's been making sex jokes at me all day =)
15. I realised who my real friends are and bugger everyone else -gives good satisfaction |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|05:34 pm] |
I am concerned.
My deputy, Alex, has continued telling people in the office that Will and I are having an affair. Now he is also telling his buddies that Will and I are so serious we're having kids together -apparently I'm pregnant...
And the fact that Will is now giving me lifts into work and back is not not helping. Nor is that I will now be playing badminton with him, amongst others, Wednesday nights.
I do love him, and having him so close to me both at home and work is really nice. He apparently doesn't suspect anything because I have been informed by his mates that IF I have feelings for him (they don't actually realise Alex is telling the truth about me liking him) then I am hiding them well but he has apparently commented that I'm a nice girl and a lot more considerate than most of the others in the office. That has to be good right?
Alex told me today that Will and I will have freaky children coz I'm naughty and Will's scary. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|12:53 pm] |
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Will lives on the road below mine and walked me home on Friday afternoon after taking the bus with me. I feel like a giddy teenager again... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|10:51 pm] |
Ok, funny story - as always, me trying to be funny.
I'm not sure if I have regailed you with my latest crush, Will, with whom I work. If I have, I apologise for another silly story; if not, then you get the horror of listening to the next unfortunate guy to pass my way...
Anyway, Will and I are on the social commitee and are responsible for collecting the money for the ticket sales for the Summer Ball in a month from now. People have had 2 months to pay and we had to pay costs this week so any money not collected is our loss. Funnily enough, of the 85 people on our list, we only had full payment from a 1/4 of these. Yesterday in a meeting Will starts to vent his annoyance at this people who haven't paid and sets the deadline for Friday when heads will start to roll. I joke "it's ok Will, we can go around threatening them." "Don't tempt me Steph -you are making an offer I am prepared to take."
I go back to my desk and notice the plastic Bam-Bam (of the Flintstones) bat that's been lying around our desks for ages and email Will: "I've got a bat if you want to go threatening people."
Reply 30 secs later: "that sounds very tempting -ask me tomorrow."
Tomorrow (Tuesday): "Wanna go threaten?"
Will: "Yes, let's go."
So we traipse around the whole building for an hour, me with list and purse, him with bat and it was truly hysterical. I stood there at each desk demanding money and he stood there with a bat in his hand looking pissed and menacing.
And now I have been informed by my deputy, who is mates with him, that he (deputy) is onto the fact that I like Will and is doing everything to make Will notice without actually saying it.
On Thursday last week Will and I were at the drinks machine getting drinks for our teams and I was trying to fill my water bottle. He starts saying something about the jug setting but I hear him saying drug and I don't know what he's talking about...so you can imagine how that conversation is going. Alex (deputy) finally comes up and whacks Will with a book or something and explains how I have hearing problems (!) and proceeds to explain to the 2 of us what was wrong with the conversation. We were in fits.
The three of us have an amusing relationship: Will and I tease Alex, Alex and I tease Will and they both tease me.
Alex signed me up to play on the Computershare Plans (that's our department) Badminton team purely coz Will asked if I could or would and Alex knows that I would -for a number of reasons...should be entertaining. |
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| Got drunk |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|01:40 am] |
It finally happened! It's been a long time coming but I have finally drunken alcohol.
I'm up in Liverpool visiting as my year and friends have graduated today and tonight a bunch of us went out to celebrate. I decided 3 weeks ago enough was enough and I would drink sometime in the future.
Tonight I did and it was strange. I had a cocktail and when I finished mine I drunk the remaining half of Rachel's as she didn't want to finish it as she was feeling dizzy. I, however, seemed to be having an out of body experience as I didn't FEEL drunk but was def acting like it...although I could walk in a straight line so maybe it wasn't that bad...
Anyway, am supposed to go back to Bristol tomorrow and go into the office Friday but I think I'm going to stay in Liverpool tomorrow night and then catch an early train back so that I least spend the afternoon at the office...I'm not sure...anyways, I think I need to go to bed... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|03:39 pm] |
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Ok, now how come there's no birthday wishes for me on my 21st on Saturday!? I (mostly) remember your birthdays! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|11:20 pm] |
Today was a good day. Work should've been awful but my colleagues on this team are so much better than the last team! Somewhat strangely, one of my colleagues today compared me to the Borg and then reconsidered and decided I had more in common with Milosevic...and just because when fixing his computer mouse, I said "It's not broken, I'm just fixing it." Though I did find it funny...
And then after work, there was a session with Rupert. And it was fab - on both his and my parts. He was shocked when I achieved one part of the workout which I've never been able to complete non-stop before. And his smile! He kept smiling and he was joking around the whole time. And I do love it when he puts his hand on my back. And when we were stretching and my leg was resting up on his shoulder...oh god. I love him, then I'm indifferent, then I love him again. But there was definitely a change in him -and me- today. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2006|08:43 pm] |
On the 5th of June I will celebrate having been in my job for 3 months - which is a record.
And the on the 6th I will celebrate for maintaining it.
I enjoy my job; it's challenging but not over the top, I get on well with most of my colleagues (there are definitely a couple of exceptions) and I am being paid a damn lot for a job which I find incredible they actually trust me to do.
Paul and Dave agree that it is strange that the guys treat me like one of the guys and automatically include me in conversations and office games about football but there are other girls who are also interested but get ignored...
In other news, Matt (my manager) saw me have a seizure today (and it was one of the bad ones which wipe me out) and discovered my little secret. And then, when I suggested maybe going home early, he said yes instantly and then when one of the others protested, saying it increased her workload, he said I had an appointment. I didn't think I could trust him that much...maybe I was wrong. The 2nd in command on my team, Alex, has decided that you can tease me and I don't take it personally...he's taken to calling me "Trouble", amongst a whole bunch of other strange jokes...
What I really like about this job actually, is that it is an Australian company and the odds of being transfered to the land of Oz in the next 10 years are quite high - there's no less than 8 Aussies in my particular office (out of like 200 people) and I know our boss here, Chris something, is an Aussie. Not sure why they transfer people from here there and people from there here...
And there are at least 25 Brits in the Melbourne office.
Come the 17th of June I will be in Dave's back garden in High Wycombe (that's just north of London for you ignorent ones...) with approx. 100 of Dave and Suz's friends...and a whole bunch of us have been swapping notes on how we should have soooo seen this coming - it will definitely be an annual thing. Which is fine, except that Dave appears hell bent on setting me up with one of his friends! He's now trying to coax another one I met at his wedding...this guy is unbelivable! I can't believe I'm related to him...
Anyway, tomorrow the people from Currys are FINALLY coming to install my washing machine after dumping it in my kitchen 3 weeks ago. My dad threatened them saying if they didn't, we'd return it. I'd spent two weeks on the phone to them, trying to get them to come out but they are useless twats(like BT) and when my dad tried, they said no one had contacted them for three weeks so they weren't going to do it! Yeah, and we've defected from BT to Telewest coz after a month, BT are still refusing to take any responsibility for my internet problems.
Right, I'm off to get something to eat. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2006|09:58 pm] |
Shit. Dave's been getting my hopes up recently about one of his mates who I've liked for awhile but have known to be off limits as has girlfriend of two years. Dave's been giving the very clear impression that he's now single and interested.
And now I find out he is still very much with his girlfriend. But he considers me a good mate. That wasn't what I was looking for! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2006|02:45 pm] |
Urgh, it's Monday lunchtime and I'm sitting at my works internet cafe coz I have no internet access at home. I moved in last Tuesday, plugged in my computer having been told my broadband would've been activated and, sure enough, it wasn't. I have made 4 calls to BT asking them WTF!? and each time they go through the same thing:
Q. Is computer plugged in? A. yes
Q. Is it turned on? A. Duh
Q. Have you plugged the internet cable in? er, yeah!
Q. Have you tried to connect? A. YES!
"Ok, well I'm afraid that's all I'm trained to do, I will pass you through to the Broadband Support Group now."
And they aren't very helpful either.
On Friday the guy said he'd phone me at 8pm after they'd done a line scan. And, of course, he didn't. And the line's only open Monday-Friday 8-8. Bloody twits.
They delivered my fridge and washing machine but the wm is still sitting in my kitchen unwrapped coz the back counter is to small to fit it and it's the only slot in the kitchen which has plumbing. So I phone my parents who tell me to find someone who could possibly remove the back counter, which I do -in fact he's a an old friend of my grandma and is willing to do it for free. My grandma informs my mum this morning and I received an email at work now saying to cancel the appointment with this guy and I now need to wait til they come over - which is at the end of June! I need a washing machine and the nearest laundrette is a 20 minute bus ride away! This is ridiculous!
Btw, if you really want my address, let me know and I will deliver.
And I am extremely angry with the Premier League. Spurs maintained 4th place for 6 months - 4th place is the last qualifying place for the Champions League which is the highest honour in European football. (I sense a number of people deserting this now). Anyway, Arsenal were in 5th, 6th and 7th places over this time period and yesterday were 1 point behind Spurs. All Spurs needed to do was beat West Ham yesterday afternoon and they stood to get £10 million next season in the CL, provided Arsenal lose the Final in Paris in 2 weeks -winner gets automatic qualification regardless of finishing position. Saturday night Spurs players book into Marriott near West Ham and a number of players eat the lasagne. And at 3am, the manager is awoken by the team doctor to say that 8 of his players have food poisoning.
Spurs try to get the Premier League to postpone the match by a day to allow his players to recover. They refuse. So Spurs play against a fully fit West Ham side with 8 players constantly being given large doses of anti-diarrhoea drugs. The point of the playing a game is that it is supposed to be a fair fight and if there is an obvious disadvantage, like this, then you need to reconsider the options. What harm would it have done to postpone the match by 24 hours so that it was a fair fight!? Spurs could've beaten West Ham and if they had they would be £10 million richer, which can make a big difference in football. So now Spurs are looking to sue the Premier League and the Marriott Hotel Group to recoup some of that lost funds. If anything, Spurs deserve it. I hope Barca slaughter Arsenal in two weeks. The gits at the PL should not have let them play yesterday, I'd like to see the fat cats who made that decision try and play 90 minutes of top notch football with food poisoning.
Anyway, I better get back to work before all the anger and frustration I'm feeling at the moment boils over - I've already sent a long email telling my mum she's being ridiculous to make me cancel the appointment about the wm. It's easy for her, she has a washing machine. And time on her hands that she could hand wash everything if she really wanted to. For a laundrette or using my neighbours I could only do it on Saturday coz I don't have the flipping time! Yeah, I feel a pain in my head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2006|10:25 pm] |
Almost there! This weekend has seriously driven me nuts, but most of my stuff is in the new house and there's nothing left in the flat which will kill me to take by myself.
I agree with my dad - I have no idea how we got all my stuff down from Liverpool in one load! We've made 4 trips back and forth and then there's still stuff left!
The house is in a truly gawd-awful state - the first thought I had when I walked into my bedroom on Friday was "there's a bad smell in here." But yesterday we cleaned it and managed to get one of the three windows open and now there's no bad smell. But the kitchen requires a lot more work - we spent an hour cleaning it today along with the windows open and the smell is STILL there!
It's going to be at least a year until the house is ready to really live in, but when it's done it's going to be fabulous!
I just don't want to spend the nights alone there... :) |
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